Screaming Infidelities
by supermegafoxieawesomehot
Summary: Maura betrays Jane in the worst way possible.
1. Mistakes

What was she doing? Jane couldn't help but wonder as she stood alone in her kitchen with bottle of beer in her hands. Why was she sitting in her house with no lights on drinking her pain away while her better counterpart was doing the same exact thing at her home across town. And even more than that why did it hurt so damn bad it was just a fight like any other they had had tons before this morning though none of them had ended so explosively. Jane knew she sometimes over reacted and yes she was a little over protective of Maura and more than a little jealous.

Honestly, who wouldn't be? Maura was an exceptionally special person someone who was beautiful on the outside and inside. Maura made Jane want to be better, she made her want to go above and beyond on everything. Jane wore dresses just so she could see Maura's eyes rake over her slender body in an approving way even though she was insanely uncomfortable in them. Jane, not that she needed it, put make up on so that she was more appealing to Maura so that it looked like she was really trying and she was. And then there was the part where she was more tame her anger not as intense, she let Maura slide on things that no other person would ever be able to get away with.

Seeing Maura in the Dirty Robber flirting with some guy though had sent Jane over the edge like so many times before but this time the guy actually had his hands on her. So right there in front of everyone she ended it, threw away two years and then left hardly noticing Maura's eyes filling with tears. What had she been thinking. Why in the world had she done such a stupid thing. It was like she was determined to be so very unhappy.

She fully intended to go to Maura's in the morning beg for her forgiveness and win her back but if she didn't want Jane back if she didn't want to be with her anymore than what was she going to do? Jane had never in her life been this weak and pathetic about a relationship. She had never depended on someone like she depended on Maura. That's what scared her and made her so jealous loosing Maura was her biggest fear. She had also never opened up to someone like she had with Maura. It was so intense and so new all of this she was experiencing for the first time.

With a groan she slid down to the floor tears threatening to take over. All she wanted to do was crawl in bed and cry. Jane Rizzoli didn't cry, hardly ever at least Maura was the only person who could ever have that effect on her.

She woke up the next morning eyes red and puffy, with an intense headache from the night of drinking alone but she put it all aside all she could think about was Maura and making up with her. So at seven thirty in the morning she jumped out of bed and into her car speeding like a maniac the entire way there. When she got there she didn't use her key. For some reason she felt that it wasn't her place anymore to use it since technically they weren't together.

She knocked on the door and shoved her hands in her pockets nervously. It seemed as if she had been standing out in the cold forever before Maura came to the door wearing only a tank top and a pair of Jane's sweats. She looked nearly as bad as Jane felt, her hair more disheveled than Jane had ever seen it before. They looked at one another for a long moment before Jane spoke up.

"Maura I am so sorry." Jane whispered as she cupped Maura's cheeks in both of her slender hands and kissed Maura softly pouring everything she felt into that kiss all the sorrow she felt how her heart was breaking.

"Jane…" But she trailed off as another voice talked over her.

"Hey were is your bathroom." it was a male voice Maura closed her eyes pinched the bridge of her nose and a single tear ran down her cheek.

"Jane I was so drunk." she explained desperately wanting Jane to understand they had switched rolls in the past minute suddenly Maura was begging for forgiveness and Jane was just standing there feeling even worse than she had before like her entire world had been shattered.

Jane ignored her and pushed the door open to see the exact man that had been touching Maura the night before. She shook her head.

"I can't believe you." she said before she took a step back and turned leaving Maura on the doorstep.

"Wait Jane, please you have to understand." She ran after the other women and grabbed her arm. "You had just broken up with me and I just wanted to numb the pain next thing I know I'm waking up in bed with some stranger instead of the women I love."

"Don't do that… no you don't get to make up excuses Maura you fucked some asshole. This" She hissed motioning between them. "is over. For good."

She left Maura standing there on her front lawn in Jane's sweat pants looking completely defeated.

A/N: So after a day of listening to songs about getting your heart broken for the better part of my night I began to think back about the days fallowing a break-up with my ex/ the girl I was deeply in love with and I came up with this. The point of this was to feel better but I think I feel worse and I will be continuing this. Trust me they will get back together because Maura and Jane deserve to be happy. Don't you agree?


	2. Broken Hearts and Broken Hands

_I'm cuddling close_  
_To blankets and sheets_  
_But you're not alone, and you're not discreet_

_Make sure I know who's taking you home._

Maura stayed on the front lawn long after Jane was gone, until the cold became nearly unbearable. As she walked back into her house numb with grief over the altercation with Jane she fell into the bed and curled into a ball for the first time since Maura could remember she just wanted to turn her overly logical brain off. Briefly she thought about drinking a bottle of red wine but it hadn't worked so well for her last night.

She couldn't help thinking how funny it was that one single event that lasted no longer than ten minutes could so drastically change her life. Take from her the one person she had ever been to relate to ever. Her first relationship that she had actually seen a future with. She let out a anguished yell and began to sob pulling herself up into a ball in the middle of her bed. The man whatever his name was briefly stopped by the room to tell her that he was leaving and then hightailed it out of there.

She didn't blame him she was socially awkward at best but especially in situations like she had put this man in what would she had done if she woke up to a woman crying after a night of sex? Yeah, she would have also gotten the hell out of there too. Unless it was Jane for Jane would have stayed for Jane she would do anything she was asked. Especially now that she had screwed up so badly.

She allowed herself thirty minutes of a break down before she got up took a deep breath and gathered herself. She locked everything in a box in the back of her mind to be analyzed and worried about later but right now she had to get everything together long enough to go to work if she was anything she was professional.

At least she would be able to get her mind off of Jane by distracting her. Then again it could do the exact opposite she could be so distracted that she screwed up. She could go in there and only seen Jane. Only thing about them flirting shamelessly over the body she had on her table at the minute.

She took a shower fight hard to keep it together and quickly got ready throwing her hair in a pony tail without drying it and only put on a minimal amount of make up. She didn't have the will to do much more. She jumped in her car and took the longest route going ten miles under the speed limit the entire way. She really wasn't looking forward to dealing with Jane ignoring her.

Jane walked into the bullpen exhausted and heartbroken with only one coffee as opposed to her normal two. She fell into her chair with a groan, it was so hard to keep it together when all she wanted to do was fall apart. After she caught Maura with that guy she went home dressed for work and being the very insensitive person she was prayed for a murder case to get her out of the office. Maybe she was a little selfish but she really needed her mind to be taken off of what she just saw.

As she though about it she clenched her jaw to keep the anger that was pulsing through her from exploding out. That man had his disgusting hands all over Maura's beautiful perfect body. He was on top of her, he kissed her lips the very soft warm lips that only Jane was allowed to kiss. When the anger became to much she punched the wall as hard as she could with a small yelp she jerked her hand back. Thankfully none of the guys where in the room to see her little tantrum.

Not so thankfully the very person she didn't want to see had chosen that moment to walk in. When Jane punched the wall Maura had been watching her silently from the door way and she rushed over to make sure she was okay.

"Jane what the hell where you thinking?" Maura asked worried. "You might have broken your hand let me see it."

"I don't know Maura what were you thinking." she snapped back but she let Maura take her hand she hissed loudly when Maura tried to gently assess the damage.

"Damn Maura will you stop doing that?"

"Doing what?" She asked staring intently at Jane's hand.

"Hurting me Maura. It's not enough that you have to break my heart now you've got to get a few physical digs in as well?"

Maura looked up at her with huge sad eyes that began to fill with tears, Jane immediately regretted what she had said but not enough to take it back as much as she loved Maura and she did she really, really did she took a little satisfaction in the fact that she was able to hurt Maura a little.

"I never intended to hurt you Jane." replied Maura as she refocused her attention on Jane's hand. "It doesn't appear to be broken."

"Whether you intended to or not you've broken my heart now if you could leave I've got a lot of work to do." She was lying of course but her stomach turned every time she looked at Maura. She hated that looking at the love of her life made her sick. She wanted to cry but she wouldn't not in front of Maura never again.

"Please Jane you have to understand. Please forgive me." She begged

"This isn't something I can just forgive Maura I'm not built that way."

Maura grabbed Jane's face and kissed her hard on the lips and for a moment Jane lost herself in the softness of Maura's lips. Then it hit her like a tidal wave all she could think of was the other guy doing exactly what she was now.

She pushed Maura away gently as possible. "I can't do this please just leave."

Maura nodded kissed Jane on the forehead and left the detective sitting at her desk.

A/N: Reviews reviews reviews makes a girl post a lot faster! :)


	3. Forgetting

Jane rolled the half empty bear bottle around in her hands tipping it back in forth in boredom. She really had no idea what she was doing sitting in Club Café alone except that maybe she really just wanted one night that wasn't full Maura. One night were she didn't sulk at home drinking alone which had been an every night occurrence since she broke up with Maura a month ago. She would have gone to Merch but the polka dot corseted waitresses only served to make her think more about Maura.

She felt someone sit down next to her and she looked over to see a light brown haired, hazel eyed women She was beautiful there was no doubt about that. Jane smiled at her and took a swig of her beer.

"Hi, I'm Ronnie." The beautiful and notably younger woman who couldn't have been older than twenty-three said.

"Jane." she replied giving the other women her hand to shake.

"Jane… simple and yet beautiful just like you."

Jane raised an eyebrow for such a young woman she was pretty bold. "You're not so bad yourself."

Ronnie smiled her thanks and ordered herself another martini and Jane another beer. "So what has you sitting at a bar by yourself?" she asked as she drug her finger along the rim of her glass.

Jane just shrugged.

"A girl? Or are you an alcoholic?" She pressed for more information.

"A girl… woman I mean." Jane said with a bitter laugh it was funny it was that a woman who looked so much like Maura was sitting next to Jane asking about Maura while she was trying to forget her.

"Trying to forget?"

Jane nodded smiling sadly at the other woman. "How's that working out for you?"

"Hm… not so good." She laughed humorlessly

"Yeah I know how you feel."

Another nod from Jane showing that she understood. "Silent and broody just my type."

Jane didn't reply she just took a swig of her newest beer.

"Okay I get the point." She said looking down at her feet.

"Do you want to get out of here?" asked Jane finally looking up at the younger women a smile so bright that it reminded her of Maura appeared on Ronnie's face. Jane took a deep breath and filed the sharp pain that she felt in her gut away in the little box to be dealt with later for now though she was going to go home with the woman and forget for a little while.

Frankie was worried. And it wasn't that often that he worried about his big sister because he could more or less take care of herself and if she couldn't she wouldn't let anyone know she rarely showed weakness. Maybe it had something to do with being the oldest kid and having a screw up for a younger brother, Jane had always fought hard to show Frankie that there was another way to go rather than the bad way. For as long as he could remember Jane had always taken care of him, fought his bullies, helped him through the police academy and very rarely wanting anything in return and never ever showing how something effected her. Even after Hoyt there weren't any noticeable behavior changes in Jane except that maybe she was a little more closed off.

So he knew something pretty bad was up when she stopped eating, well he didn't really know that for sure all he knew was that she skipped lunch everyday and pushed her food around on her plate. She drank coffee by the truck load, and had dropped at least ten pounds and she was pushing it on the underweight thing. There were dark circles under her eyes that made Frankie think that she was most defiantly not getting much sleep. She looked and acted pretty much how he would have expected her to after the Hoyt incident though he expected that Maura had made everything better for the most part.

Then there was Maura who he liked very much and not just because she had saved his life but because she made Jane happy insanely so. She was just as bad off as Jane though she was opening up about it more than Jane would. Frankie found that he was often the shoulder Maura cried on, he had quickly become the person that Maura confided in switching one Rizzoli for another. Maura was sick with shame over what she had done to Jane and all she wanted was to get her back and spend the rest of her life making up for cheating on her.

So basically two out of four of the woman in his life were slowly killing themselves because they were to stubborn to move on from something that happened while they were broken up. Sure what Maura did was wrong but Jane had just broken up with her so she had no right to judge her for that. Then again what Jane was doing couldn't be considered as judging. She was broken by what had happened, from seeing that guy in Maura's house and basically having all her insecurities confirmed.

It wasn't like he hadn't helped fuel those insecurities either, he had picked on the couple constantly. Stating that Maura was slumming it with his big sister. But that's not what he thought. He knew that Maura and Jane where perfect for one another and it had taken them to long enough to get together. He hated this, he hated them being apart and he hated that he never got to see Maura outside of the station. Something needed to change and quickly.

Jane leaned back in her chair and propped her feat up on her desk, with her hands behind her head she did her best to relax but this case and what had happened last night wouldn't allow her to. After she and Ronnie were done she promptly told the other woman she had a long night and would prefer it if she didn't stay. Ronnie understood completely what they had done was just a release, a moment to forget what their respective ex-lovers had done to them. Besides Jane had never been to fond of sleepovers or snuggling until Maura had come into her life.

Part of her wanted to forget what had happened though because she felt like her insides where being eaten away by guilt. She may not be with Maura but she still felt obligated to her like she had cheated or something. She had to do something to get rid of the feeling. Why did she feel this way when Maura had been the one to hurt her? She should hate the ME with everything in her but she didn't she still loved her deeply, she still craved her touch.

With a sigh she let her feet fall to the ground and rested her elbows on the table rubbing her brow. "What the hell am I supposed to do?" She asked herself quietly though apparently no quietly enough since Frost looked up and gave her a weak smile.

"Forgive her." Frost suggested. "Or at least talk to the woman she misses you."

"Frost do me a favor a go get the report from autopsy." She said ignoring the man's comment.

"No." he said his eyes returning to the computer screen.

"Excuse me?" Jane snapped her temper was going through the roof.

"I said no. From now on I'm not going to the morgue you can do that." he said with a shrug.

"I am the senior agent here Detective Frost."

Frost looked over at her briefly and shrugged his shoulders again signaling that her would not be going down there no matter what she said. Jane let out a frustrated sigh got up from her desk and made her way to the morgue her heart was beating so loudly she was sure that Maura could hear it all the way from out in the hall where she had her hand on the door. She took a deep breath sealing herself off for the feeling she was sure would hit her like a tidal wave as soon as she laid eyes on Maura.

It was like suddenly someone else was controlling her body she moved forward more quickly then she intended to and spun the office chair Maura was sitting in around to face her. Maura let out a very un-lady like yelp her eyes wide with shock and fear when she noticed that Jane was standing in front of her arms boxing her in. They looked at one another the seconds drug by making them seem more like minutes maybe even hours just staring into one another's eyes.

In those few moments it really hit Jane how much she had missed Maura, how much every cell of her body craved Maura's touch not some random stranger in a bar. So Jane kissed her, hard pulling her up at the same time. Maura responded greedily her hands found Jane's sides, momentarily distracted by how thin she seemed it worried her. But when Jane roughly grabbed her hips in a way that would leave dark purple bruises on her and dropped her just as roughly on her desk all thoughts where lost replaced by an intense arousal that made it hard to think, hard to worry about anything than the way Jane's teeth were sinking into her neck.

She was crying, actually crying right in front of Maura not that she could see her because Maura's head was thrown back against the wall her mouth opened slightly. She wished it would stop even if the other women couldn't see her but it wouldn't so she pulled at Maura's shirt buttons flew around them falling to the floor with a soft clatter. Next was the skirt but she couldn't for the life of her find the zipper so she settled for ripping that too, what was a ripped outfit when the women under her had broken her heart?

She fucked Maura hard against her desk eliciting moans of both pleasure and pain from the shorter woman. Maura shouted Jane's name as she came loudly enough that she was sure someone had heard her. When she finally came down enough from the high of her orgasm to notice the room around her Jane was gone. Slowly she got up and went over to the closet that held her lab coats thankfully she had an spare outfit for emergencies she gingerly shrug out of her shredded clothes and replaced them with the new ones.

Maura leaned against the wall slowly sliding down and curling into herself she cried until she couldn't cry anymore.

A/N: I think I'm really happy with chapter though it's a bit more angstish than the first two. I think it really shows how fucked up Jane is now. Part of me hates that I made Maura into the bad guy here because I love her and she's just so sweet but we wouldn't really be seeing all this anger from her. I think she would silently stew to herself and it wasn't really the reaction I wanted.


	4. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

_Stupid, Stupid, stupid. _thought Jane as she banged her head against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall. What had she been thinking just barging into the morgue and doing _that _to Maura? It was like something had come over her and she wasn't Jane Rizzoli anymore she was someone crazy. She hated herself for it because Maura, as badly as she had hurt Jane, didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to be _fucked _out in the middle of her morgue while some crazy person ruined one of the outfits that she so treasured. You make love to women like Maura. You kiss her slowly and enjoy every moment of it.

She splashed some cold water on her face and looked in the mirror, the women looking back at her wasn't someone she recognized nor someone she liked. Dark bags circled dull brown eyes that where bloodshot. Her hair was limp and messy and not in a good way like it normally was. Slowly she pulled up her shirt to revel her torso she looked like a skeleton it was almost sickening. The numbness of the past month was wearing off quickly and being replaced by guilt so intense that Jane wanted to throw up.

She leaned against the sink and looked down at her feet wondering how she would ever face Maura again after what had happened. She had just run in there and basically ra- no she couldn't even think it.

"What the hell Jane." A male voice shouted as the bathroom door swung open to revel her little brother looking extremely angry. She glared at him.

"What! Frankie the triangle is a dress this is a women's room!" Jane shouted back at her brother.

For a moment he was a little taken aback by her sarcastic response but he quickly recovered. "I've just been down to Maura's office."

"Oh." She said shortly shoving her hands as deep in her pockets as she could.

"That's all you have to say for yourself? Oh? Come on smart woman like you should come up with something a little more." He paused shooting her a dirty look. "If you where a guy I would kick your ass."

"What do you want me to say Frankie?" She asked throwing her hands up in frustration. "Do you want me to say that I'm stupid? Horrible? Disgusted? Alright fine I am the stupidest most horrible person I know and I am very disgusted by my actions."

Frankie sighed and pulled his sister to him hugging her tightly he kissed the top of her head. "As long as we are on the same page Janie."

She was on her third beer when a dainty knock interrupted the silence she had been sitting in since Frankie had driven her home at four. It was nearly eight. She knew who it was already she had memorized Maura's knock over the past month Maura had been there many times trying to get Jane to talk to her. She got up silently thinking that she owed it to the other woman to answer the door and to apologize.

When she opened the door she wasn't met with the usual perfectly dressed Maura but rather the much more casually dressed one. She wore Jane's Boston Police Station sweat suit that looked a lot more wore out than she remembered. As if reading her mind Maura spoke up.

"I wear them a lot." She explained. "Are you going to let me in?"

Jane nodded noting that Maura didn't look angry just sick and exhausted she stepped aside to let Maura in as the smaller women walked by her and sat awkwardly on the edge of the sofa Jane caught a glimpse something on the side of Maura's neck. When Jane reached over to tilt Maura's head to the side she flinched but allowed Jane to do as she wanted. There on the side of the blonde's neck was a dark purple bite mark. Jane gasped softly.

"I did that to you?" Jane asked softly looking at Maura.

Maura turned to look at Jane and nodded. "You didn't mean to Jane I know you would never hurt me on purpose."

"But I still hurt you." Jane looked up at the ceiling.

Maura took Jane's hand in her own. "And I still hurt you." She replied. "Jane I know you can't forget what I did but please can we at least be friends?"

Jane didn't answer instead she pulled Maura closer to her taking in the scent Vanilla sent she had come to miss so much in the past months. Their lips touched gently.

"I don't want to be your friend Maura." Jane whispered.

"Oh. Right okay I'm sorry I shouldn't have come." Maura mumbled as she dropped Jane's hand and got up. Jane pulled grabbed her arm and pulled her back down, she landed directly in Jane's lap.

Her fingertips touched Maura's cheek. "What've we done Maura?" She asked her voice was raspy

Maura shook her head and leaned into Jane curling her body into the other woman's, Jane tugged Maura along with her and laid down on the couch her arms wrapped tightly around the other woman. She kissed Maura's bare shoulder trailing her hands down the other woman's body as if to rememorize it. Not that she could ever forget the softness of Maura's perfect milky skin. Maura who had her back turned to Jane turned carefully so she couldn't fall off of the couch.

"I miss you." she whispered.

"I'm right here." Jane replied tucking a strand of honey colored hair being Maura's ear. They kissed slowly and explorative not at all like the one they shared earlier that day.

"Do you think things will ever go back to the way they used to?"

Jane looked at Maura for a long moment wondering if she really wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. Did she really want to watch Maura flirt with men and have an uncontrollable jealousy take over?

"I don't know Maura." she replied instead of voicing her thoughts, they could talk about the bad stuff in the morning but right now she just wanted to be with Maura, she wanted to fall asleep listing to her calm breathing and familiar sent.

No, Jane didn't want things to go back to normal she wanted them to go back to better than normal.

A/N: Okay so let me know what you think about this J The first semi okay chapter right? Next one they shall talk!


	5. Let the healing begin

When Jane woke up the next morning she's mildly surprised to find that they are in bed, Maura must have gotten them there somehow. Once Jane reached a certain level of tiredness you could pretty much get her to go anywhere and she wouldn't remember it in the morning. She sighs her stomach dropping a little at the sight of Maura. It's not that she doesn't want her because she does more than anything but how is that possible when looking at her is painful?

Jane didn't forgive very easily. Well, she did but she found it hard to forget very hard. Even last night after the tender moment they shared she was finding it hard to not picture that guy with Maura. Yes, she had also slept with someone else but it was different. They had been broken up for weeks. Briefly she struggled with the idea of just leaving and going back to ignoring Maura but that didn't work out so well the first time. She needed to grow up and deal with her problems like the adult she claimed to be.

Another look over at her… whatever she was to Jane now, and another turn of her stomach. It sucked not to even be able to look at the women you were to in love with. How where they supposed to have a relationship if she felt this way? How was she ever supposed to make love to her again if she could hardly touch her? She sighed again she just felt so hopeless and she hated that. She craved control she needed to control this situation but how?

"Stop." Maura groaned as she rolled over and locked eyes with Jane. She looked so sad it broke Jane's heart all over again.

Jane looked at her, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Stop what."

"The sighing Jane just stop if you don't want me here I will leave." she snapped.

She had to repress another sigh as her hand found Maura's under the covers and she intertwined their fingers. "I want you here I do."

"Then what is on your mind?" she asked brushing Jane's hair out of her face.

"You… Me… Us."

"What about us?" She asked softly worry evident in her tone

"I just… I'm not sure how this is going to work." She replied refusing to meet her eyes. One look at Maura would be her undoing right now.

"Do you… Do you still love me?" Jane can almost hear the tears that are no doubt falling down Maura's cheeks.

"Jesus Maura of course I still love you." She took Maura's face in both of her hands and forced her to look at her. "I will always for the rest of my life love you. Even when I hate you Maura I will love you."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Jane if I have to I will spend the rest of my life apologizing to you and making up for what I did. Just please give me the chance."

Jane sat up and fiddled with her hands in her lap for a few long moments when she finally glanced at Maura she saw the women looking at her intently like she was trying to read her facial expression.

"If we do this Maura some things are going to have to change."

"Of course I would expect no less." She nodded with vigor. She would do anything, change anything about her to stop the hurt Jane was feeling. All she wanted was to fix things.

"Not just with you things need to change with me too. If I hadn't blow up at you like that you never would have… done what you did."

"Jane don't-" Maura started but Jane raised her hand slightly telling her she wasn't finished.

"I think that maybe you and I need some kind of…" She trailed off running her hands through her hair and laughing. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I think you and I need couples therapy."

Maura stared at her in shock feeling her heart swell a little at the fact Jane was suggesting it. It meant she really must want to make things worse because Jane hated the idea of a stranger knowing anything about her or her personal relationships. After Hoyt and the shooting Jane skipped her required therapy as much as she could get away with it. And when she did go she sat in the chair arms crossed staring at the man or woman across from her until the hour was up.

"You.." She said pointing at Maura. "Need to work on your insane flirting."

"I'm not that bad…" She mumbled.

Jane snorted. "Maura you flirt over dead bodies for someone who isn't very good with live people you sure know how to flirt." Jane shook her head laughing.

"And I will work on the jealousy thing."

Maura gave her a dimpled smile and kissed her softly on the lips. "You are an extremely jealous person Jane."

"Yeah well when you happen to be dating the sexiest woman alive it comes with the territory."

"There are women who are far better looking than I am Jane."

"No not really none that I've seen."

Maura laughed quietly. "May I make a suggestion to fix things?" Maura asked with wide curious eyes.

"Of course Maura."

"We should take a vacation together." Maura said pausing to give Jane a chance to turn down the idea. The brunette just raised an eyebrow at her to continue.

"Well my parents they have a beach house the Hampton's it's such a beautiful place and they're in Europe right now so it's not like they are using it I'm sure they wouldn't mind if we went. And you know Jane you never take a vacation, neither to I so we could get maybe two weeks?" Maura rambled on.

"Whoa Maura babe slow down for a minute." Jane took a deep breath and grabbed Maura's hand in her own.

"I think we should take things slowly for now in a couple of months we can take that trip. In fact I would love to take that trip with you."


	6. Couples Therapy

A/N: Okay so part of the last chapter was deleted somehow, here is the part that got deleted...

_"Whoa Maura babe slow down for a minute." Jane took a deep breath and grabbed Maura's hand in her own. "We can take the trip but I'm not making any promises okay?" _

_"Okay."_

* * *

It took a week to get everything in order, but finally the plans where laid out they had the time off and Maura's parents had given her the okay to use the beach house for a week. The guys had been mildly surprised t hat the two women where going on vacation together. She would be lying if she said there hadn't been an usual amount of tension in the very few moments that they had spent together in the past month.

Though they had spent two nights together in the past week they had yet to have sex again. Part of Maura understood that it would take time to get back to the way they had been before but part of her, the part that was a slightly irrational woman felt insecure like somehow Jane was no longer sexually attracted to her. Maura knew that it was stupid to think that but she couldn't help it.

The truth of the matter was though that Jane was scared. The day in the morgue was always in the back of her mind and while Maura may have forgiven her Jane had yet to forgive herself. The idea that she may loose control like that again made her keep her hands to herself and the kisses short. Did she long for Maura? Without a doubt. The uneasy feeling that she got when she saw the golden haired women was slowly ebbing away. She didn't exactly trust Maura just yet but she didn't feel like she wanted to throw up when she looked at her anymore.

Which was always a plus when you happen to love the woman. This therapy thing though was kind of freaking her out. She knew they needed to talk to someone and would do anything if it meant securing her future with Maura but Jane wasn't the type to talk about things. She kept it all locked inside until all of a sudden she just burst. She couldn't be that way with Maura though. Maura deserved better.

She took a deep breath and zipped up her suitcase thinking about the therapy session she and Maura had a couple of days before.

"_So why don't one of you tell us a little about your relationship." Dr. Andrews suggested after a long stretch of silence. Maura looked at Jane silently asking her if it was okay that she be the one to tell the doctor about their life together so far, Jane gave her a slight nod she hadn't really wanted to tell him anyways. Though this was her idea she was starting to regret it. _

"_We met at work, I was a little socially awkward but Jane accepted me into her group of friends despite all of my little quirks. For me the attraction was almost immediate I'm not sure about Jane…" She trailed off looking at her girlfriend with questioning eyes. _

"_I was very much in denial." Jane said with a small smile. _

"_Well it was about a year before either of us acted on our feelings and we were together for two years after that." _

_Dr. Andrews nodded and jotted some notes down on a pad of paper. "What brings you here to see me?" he asked looking from Jane to Maura. "And this time I want to hear from Jane." _

_Jane nodded resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm a jealous person. Always have been and Maura well she's the type of woman who flirts without knowing she's flirting. I overreacted broke up with her and she slept with someone that night." She took a deep breath leaned forward in her chair and played with her hands looking anywhere but at either doctors as she continued. _

"_I have anger issues as well it comes with the job you know? Being around all this death and stuff it really warps your brain. One day I just, I was so angry and I missed Maura so much I just needed an outlet so I went down the morgue and basically forced" _

"_She didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to, if I didn't want to have sex I would have pushed you away. I'm not as weak as I look." Maura said with a small smile attempting to lighten the mood. Jane however was having none of it. _

"_When did I give you a chance Maura, I've never in my life lost control like that and it scares me. I feel like I have to be on my toes around you all the time. I don't ever want to be that person again." Jane replied she took Maura's hand in her own. Both women had completely forgotten the presence of the man. _

"_That's why you won't touch me?" Maura asked with a sigh of relief. "I though it was because of…" _

"_It has nothing to do with you, because trust me there are times where I just want to take you right where you are standing but I'm afraid of loosing control again." _

_Maura smiled softly her girlfriend and squeezed Jane's hand. "I trust you." _

It actually went a lot better than she had expected, she had shared much more than she ever thought she would somewhere in the time they say on that couch it was like the doctor wasn't even there it was just Jane and Maura talking and working out their problems with an occasional input from the therapist. She actually felt a lot better and closer to Maura than she had been since all of this started.

"Studies show that if you sigh to much it can add too much noise to the respiratory system and can also throw the system out of whack which could induce a panic attack." Maura said coming up behind Jane and wrapping her arms around her. Jane turned in Maura's arms and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Thank you Google." Jane laughed, though she teased Maura she had missed Maura's google speak almost as much as she missed Maura herself

Maura looked away and stepped out of Jane's embrace. "Sorry." She mumbled turning to walk out of the bedroom but Jane grabbed her hand and pulled Maura back to her.

"Never be sorry for who you are Maura. I love your google-speak it's kind of hot ya' know?"

Maura raised an eyebrow. "How hot?"

Jane smirked and pushed Maura on the bed straddling her. "Extremely hot, surface of the sun hot." she said before Jane's lips pressed against Maura's softly. She kissed the other woman nice and slow not wanting to loose complete control Maura however had other plans. She pulled back from the kiss and looked into Jane's onyx colored eyes for a long moment before she pulled her own shirt over her head.

"The surface of the sun is approximately 9,940 degrees Fahrenheit." as she took Jane's bottom lip between her own biting down on it lightly. As hard as she was trying to push it forward Jane wasn't allowing it. So Maura leaned back out of the kiss.

"So help me god Jane if you don't fuck me right now I'm going to do it myself." Growled Maura.

Jane laughed quietly before she pushed Maura until the other woman was lying on her back. "Language Maura such dirty words shouldn't be coming from such a beautiful mouth."

A/N: Okay so everyone has been asking about whether or not Jane is going to come clean about Ronnie... Well... perhaps? haha You'll just have to wait and see! Thanks for all the revviews keep them coming please!


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